“Warning Extreme Sarcasm”

So it seems these days that everybody and their mother is hoping on a fixie, and then being promptly thrown off when they try and leave their leg down and coast. It seems that all you need to claim OG status is to have ridden your sweet new Tommaso Augusta. Now, the previous sentence may lead readers to believe we're not down with the recent surge in popularity and riders, but we're not haters, we just want to hand out some tips for all the noobs so you can ride with confidence. First remember Flashier Is Better. Custom paint jobs, ridiculously expensive wheels (preferably with custom paint jobs. see pic), and Diamond encrusted handlebars are all in. Big time.

Second arrogance is key. If Roadies or other Fixie riders check you out, flash them a condescending look at their bike and look away, it's what they're gonna do to you. Lastly, forget what you think you know about Track bikes being built for speed, going fast and being able to stop are overrated and pase. Seriously what fun is fast? Flatland is the wave of the future. You aren't a fixie rider until you can do a backwards circle with one foot and no hands into a straight back flip.

So armed with these new rules of the street fixie culture, go forth and be cool. Cause thats what it’s all about, right? right?.... OK so that was all a bit sarcastic, sorry. Seriously though, just ride fast, ride safe, give props, and have fun.

“Warning Extreme Sarcasm”